There are times when I fall out of my practice. And I feel bad. I wish I had done something differently. How could I have done anything differently?
I have to find the right base. Where am I operating – little self or big self? If I am grounded in sense-ego self, I’ll continue to be distressed. That goes round and round. It doesn’t go anywhere. Samsara.
Am I fighting from a weak position? I have to get to higher ground. Renounce the lower ground. I have to reconfigure my consciousness. How do I do that?
I have to want it. I have to want freedom more than I want bondage.
What do I want my mind to be? A clear instrument? Do I settle for the drone - jerked around, reactive, enthralled, deluded by the senses, absorbed by prejudice and opinion? It’s a bootstrap thing. I have to move myself. I need something that will start the movement. How about humility?
How would I do that?
- Stop thinking that I know better
- Stop thinking that I am better
- Stop thinking that everyone should be better
- Stop thinking that I should be better
This must be comforting, I hold it so close.